Note: While making coffee at work, there it is very important to constantly be fiddling with your cup, stir straws, creamer, whatever. It is important to look busy, but not so busy that a person cuts in front of you to get the coffee right as it’s coming out. Keeping a close proximity to the coffee pot is certainly advisable.
Here’s a note I’d like to write and leave by the coffee pot signed by Anonymous. Like a really fancy, cursive signature.
Dear Trixt0r,
I couldn’t help but notice you are brewing coffee in the orange handled coffee pot. I believe you are the only fool in the office who drinks decaffeinated coffee because that pot sits there almost completely full, like all day.
I have also noticed that you don’t turn on the burner when you move the caffeinated coffee to the side burner. This may be due to the fact that you are not awake, but I’m more inclined to believe you are filled with hate and jealousy. Maybe your wife emasculates you, or your kids are slobs, but that doesn’t mean you should take it out on us.
Tomorrow I’m going to come here and if I find my coffee cold again I’m going to crack some skulls.
Yours truly,
Anonymous
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3 comments:
My work only serves this fair trade coffee brand and it tastes disgusting. I have since switched to tea - you should give it a shot.
What you should do is pretend to be nice, by making a pot of decaffeinated coffee for the trixtor, but instead, put regular coffee in the orange handled pot. I have always wanted to do that at work.
You should put a few drops of Visine in the decaf pot. It'll give the drinker a wicked case of The Runny Poos
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