This weekend, the bar Carl's band was playing in decided to hire a stripper to slink around and serve drinks in a bikini. It was pretty funny because this girl had the body of a fourth grader. Imagine an anorexic shoebox on peg legs.

A little later in the evening she donned a tube-top which she ingeniously also used as a dress. She then got on top of the bar and started squatting down like she was about to grow a huge turd and sticking her crotch in men's faces. I think she made about ten dollars total. Honestly, I think she would have made a lot more money if she would have at least smiled once. Or even if she decided just to puke after every third meal.

While she was doing this, I also got up on the bar and did a dance. I didn't stay up there long enough to get any tips -- just long enough to get a good laugh. I gotta say, my shorts' pockets could have held a lot more money than that girl was able to slip in her garter.