Carl, Heather, and I played some no-limit Texas Hold ‘em last night. We all sat at the same table. Anyway, the night started out great, as I intimidated everyone out of their chips with my “give me all your money” and “Oh, OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT” jests. (Apparently I turn into an asshole when playing poker.)

Anyway, some old dude who pretended to be new at this whole poker thing what with all its big blind, little blind…bullshit…get me another whiskey sour…You know I have to blow into a device to start my car because I got a DUI last year…So is this the flop or river... Thank God I have a motorcycle…

Let me just tell you, I had three queens, and he effing took me for all I was worth with a flush. Who the hell gets flushes? Drunken jackasses, that’s who. He took Carl’s dough, too, but I didn’t care so much about that.

Heather went on to get 4th out of 60 some odd people that played that evening.
Heather sux0rz.

I went downstairs to the break room to get some coffee this morning. The coffee lady was there restocking our supplies. Rather than barging my way over to the coffee pot, I decided to be considerate and wait until she was finished.

I came back about five minutes later to find an empty coffee pot. The coffee lady didn't bother to make a new pot even though there was clearly not enough coffee for a full cup. What a flagrant bitch.

temporary desk

temporary desk
Originally uploaded by .A.A..

This is where I'm working until my real desk is ready.

I know you don't care, but really, the most upsetting thing about having to leave my job is knowing how difficult it will be to get on a new pooping schedule.
I have been defecating between the hours of 9 a.m. and 11 a.m., Monday through Friday for the last three years in the first floor bathroom's handicap stall.

Other places I find it easy to poop:
Borders Book Store
Public Libraries
Private Libraries
Museums (art, space, natural history, etc.)

As I boxed up the office's holiday miniature villiage, I couldn't believe no one remarked upon the white tail deer I put on the steps of the train station -- how out of place it was, and how hilarious it was of me to do that.

Dregacacies

Dregacacies
Originally uploaded by .A.A..

At this restaurant, they serve you food other people have already eaten and are finished with. You pay to eat the left-overs off their plates. While this is a new concept for middle and upper-class Americans, the poor and underprivileged have been enjoying what these new restaurants have coined "dregicacies" (a pairing of dregs and delicacies) for some years now.