What's Next

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 21:59:00 +0000

I put videos I create on Vimeo. You can see my profile.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 22:54:00 +0000

I like Tumblr.com so much more than blogger.

Here's my tumblr.

I'm still going to use my blogger to read and comment on other people's blogs.
kthnxbye

bahst fraindz choke hold

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Mon, 21 May 2007 21:41:00 +0000

bahst fraindz choke hold, originally uploaded by schroberts.

Next time I'm squeezing until she stops breathing.

Chinz

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 15 May 2007 20:32:00 +0000

chinz, originally uploaded by .A.A..

I won.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Thu, 10 May 2007 16:34:00 +0000

In a dream I had last night, I was at a convention of some sort. It obviously had something to do with photography because everyone was watching slide shows of flickr photos.

When it came time for my slide show, there was an error, and then a screen popped up saying people had flagged my photos for being, "Very inappropriate and truly disgusting." Under the text bubble, a line read, "She's just like Brian Brown."

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:38:00 +0000

My office mate, Erin, and I found out that two new d00ds will be joining us in our office. I don’t have to move my desk, but Erin will be losing some space. The guys moving in here won’t be corporate communications guys, which means they won’t have AP style guides on their desks. So things will be a little strange, but whatev.

Erin and I are wondering how we are going to communicate once the d00ds show up. We’ve talked about everything from herpes to the location of the holy grail, which is obviously sitting at the bottom of a European lake along with some nazi gold. We do have an inter-office IM service, but it’s kind of lame.

I think it’ll be awkward for a while, but once we let them in on a few of the office secrets – like where the good forks are located, and how there’s free bottled water under the stairs, and who has the best available desk candy, they’ll come to trust us.

I forecast that we’ll all be joking around about STDs in between writing news releases and counting nazi gold within a week.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:35:00 +0000

This weekend, the bar Carl's band was playing in decided to hire a stripper to slink around and serve drinks in a bikini. It was pretty funny because this girl had the body of a fourth grader. Imagine an anorexic shoebox on peg legs.

A little later in the evening she donned a tube-top which she ingeniously also used as a dress. She then got on top of the bar and started squatting down like she was about to grow a huge turd and sticking her crotch in men's faces. I think she made about ten dollars total. Honestly, I think she would have made a lot more money if she would have at least smiled once. Or even if she decided just to puke after every third meal.

While she was doing this, I also got up on the bar and did a dance. I didn't stay up there long enough to get any tips -- just long enough to get a good laugh. I gotta say, my shorts' pockets could have held a lot more money than that girl was able to slip in her garter.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:21:00 +0000

I had a really vivid dream this morning, right before waking up that was so disgusting and hilarious at the same time.

I was in this van going down a busy city street. This van was for employees hired by the government to enforce a no cell phone while driving law. They had this contraption that would detect cell phones usage within a certain radius of their van. And when they discovered someone using a cell phone while driving, they would deactivate their service.

Anyway, I got a call while in this van. The deactivation guy found me out and threatened to deactivate my service. I convinced him through making out with him that he should continue to let me use my phone.

He agreed, but then pulled his pants down and showed me his penis, which he called “The White Worm” because it was seriously like a foot long, and maybe the diameter of an average thumb. The worst part was that it had all these tumor-like nodules and growths all over it.

I immediately woke up and got really embarrassed. Now it’s just funny.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:02:00 +0000

Kurt Vonnegut was my favorite living novelist. He is also the first celebrity I've ever cried about. He was my hero.
Like my friend, Tim, said, "It is a sad day for English majors."

So it goes.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
Kurt Vonnegut

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:44:00 +0000

torock, originally uploaded by .A.A..

I'm helping Carl tighten up his drumming resume. Here's my favorite part of what he came up with on his own.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:32:00 +0000

I've had the song, "Satan Said Dance" by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! on repeat all morning.

listen

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 17:00:00 +0000

energy-saving light bulb by AA, originally uploaded by .A.A..

I wonder how long it will take before it will be normal to see people in cartoons and illustrations with these energy-saving light bulbs above their heads when they have ideas.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 15:29:00 +0000

Note: While making coffee at work, there it is very important to constantly be fiddling with your cup, stir straws, creamer, whatever. It is important to look busy, but not so busy that a person cuts in front of you to get the coffee right as it’s coming out. Keeping a close proximity to the coffee pot is certainly advisable.

Here’s a note I’d like to write and leave by the coffee pot signed by Anonymous. Like a really fancy, cursive signature.

Dear Trixt0r,

I couldn’t help but notice you are brewing coffee in the orange handled coffee pot. I believe you are the only fool in the office who drinks decaffeinated coffee because that pot sits there almost completely full, like all day.

I have also noticed that you don’t turn on the burner when you move the caffeinated coffee to the side burner. This may be due to the fact that you are not awake, but I’m more inclined to believe you are filled with hate and jealousy. Maybe your wife emasculates you, or your kids are slobs, but that doesn’t mean you should take it out on us.

Tomorrow I’m going to come here and if I find my coffee cold again I’m going to crack some skulls.

Yours truly,
Anonymous

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:40:00 +0000

Complete the sentences:

Some _______ think it’s trendy to ________ while _______ing.

Those _______ should be ________ in the ________.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 20:38:00 +0000

AA shakeface, originally uploaded by schroberts.

I consider this my best shakeface photo to date. I think shakefaces are enhanced by allowing your eyes to relax as well.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:03:00 +0000

My Trip to Germany, Austria, and the Czech Republic

This was the second time I’ve been to Germany. The first was in 2002, when I went with my high school German class. We spent a month over there, riding around in a bus from the Alps to the North Sea. I loved it so much I promised myself I’d go back as soon as I could.

I was in Germany this time for a total of 15 days.

Reasons I enjoyed this trip more than my first one:
- No schedule. Carl and I could wake up whenever we felt like it and go anywhere we wanted -- excluding days when we had a tour group to meet up with.
- More time. I felt visiting cities for only a day or two when I was there the first time was really rushing things. I liked having two full weeks to check out Munich and the surrounding area.
- Stayed in the same hotel room. Being able to unpack and leave your stuff in your hotel room was so nice compared to lugging my human-sized suitcase into a new hotel room/hostel every other day.
- I filled up an entire page of my passport in two weeks. BOOYAKASHA

I think if I could have packed differently, I would have packed less long-sleeved shirts and turtlenecks. I basically wore two long-sleeved shirts the entire time I was there, and that was typically only when I went to dinner. The rest of the time I just layered a jacket under my pea coat. I also would have packed another pair of shoes. Black.

Things I would do differently if I could restart the trip:- Acquire a map of Prague before arriving in Prague
- Acquire a English to Czech dictionary/phrase book
- Acquire Czech Crowns before arriving in Prague
- Take more photos.
- Sit with more strangers to eat. In Germany, especially in beer halls, it is pretty normal to share tables with other people. Every night we shared a table with other people who ended up talking with us, we had the best time.

Favorite part(s):
Meeting Simon and Danielle, our new Australian friends, for dinner at the Schneider Weisse and getting absolutely trashed. Then going to a local bar to drink schnapps shots.

Meeting the now infamous Slovenian businessmen at the Hofbrauhaus. I danced with one of them to their national anthem. We ended up doing three schnapps shots and eventually slammed our beer steins together so hard they broke.

Meeting the two businessmen from Frankfurt and asking them to translate: Show your pointy boobs to German. Zeig deiner Spitztitten.

It was an amazing trip and I didn’t want to come back. In fact, the only things I missed was hanging out with Schrob and my cat, Snickers.

If you want to see my photos from my trip, click.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:48:00 +0000

waking up in Munich on Vimeo

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:29:00 +0000

Things I wrote down on post-it notes today:

send to Gina in Topeka -- floor 10

Do not eat until aboard the aircraft (stuck to a box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies)

Frontier Psychiatrist by the Avalanches

Hi Gina, Here is a list of people who signed up for updates on the transmission line.

choice, chance, and actions of others

Schrob's shitbeasty titz

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 15:08:00 +0000

So in my dream last night I was house sitting for a coworker. There were about five puppies I was to take care of that would suddenly be kittens and then later puppies again.

Anyway, my sister decided to bring a bunch of friends over and have a party. They tore the place up -- spilling beer everywhere, letting the kituppies out, breaking the porch swing, and having sex in my coworker’s bed.

The funniest part of the dream was when I discovered someone had placed an electric blanket in the shower and I went ape shit.

From now on, I am going to keep a log of how many people I kill in my dreams.

People I’ve killed in my dreams since last night: 1

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:18:00 +0000

I'm written about in an article:

http://www.broadbandjungleblog.com/

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 22:01:00 +0000

So I recently came across a friend of mine's beer log on flickr where he takes a photo and posts facts about the different beers he drinks.

This got me thinking of other logs I could start.

Here are my ideas so far:
Johns I know (a toilet log)
Chronicles of Drunkia (self portraits in bar bathrooms)
Ground beneath my feet log (interesting floor patterns with my feet in frame)

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:48:00 +0000

d00ba

Heather and I were discussing how Carl, Heather, and I all have words that we say on a daily basis that are completely alien to others.
Last night I said "dooba" during our weekly poker match at a local bar. One of the other players asked what "dooba" meant, probably thinking it was some secret code word for "Watch me take all these people's money with my pocket aces."
It was too much to go into, so we just said it was a silly expression we use sometimes. Really, though, it's a secret code for "Watch me take these people's money with my pocket aces."

Other words we use:
Fux0red (also cox0r & rox0r)
Meats
Teefs
Garlix
Shitbeast

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 21:49:00 +0000

I'm thinking of doing an entire set of photographs featuring Carl being awkward with the middle-aged women that come to see his band at bars.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 01:37:00 +0000

I find it cruel to tell our electric customers they can go online to report outages.

noreply@blogger.com (AA) — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 22:07:00 +0000

Carl, Heather, and I played some no-limit Texas Hold ‘em last night. We all sat at the same table. Anyway, the night started out great, as I intimidated everyone out of their chips with my “give me all your money” and “Oh, OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT” jests. (Apparently I turn into an asshole when playing poker.)

Anyway, some old dude who pretended to be new at this whole poker thing what with all its big blind, little blind…bullshit…get me another whiskey sour…You know I have to blow into a device to start my car because I got a DUI last year…So is this the flop or river... Thank God I have a motorcycle…

Let me just tell you, I had three queens, and he effing took me for all I was worth with a flush. Who the hell gets flushes? Drunken jackasses, that’s who. He took Carl’s dough, too, but I didn’t care so much about that.

Heather went on to get 4th out of 60 some odd people that played that evening.
Heather sux0rz.