I had a really vivid dream this morning, right before waking up that was so disgusting and hilarious at the same time.

I was in this van going down a busy city street. This van was for employees hired by the government to enforce a no cell phone while driving law. They had this contraption that would detect cell phones usage within a certain radius of their van. And when they discovered someone using a cell phone while driving, they would deactivate their service.

Anyway, I got a call while in this van. The deactivation guy found me out and threatened to deactivate my service. I convinced him through making out with him that he should continue to let me use my phone.

He agreed, but then pulled his pants down and showed me his penis, which he called “The White Worm” because it was seriously like a foot long, and maybe the diameter of an average thumb. The worst part was that it had all these tumor-like nodules and growths all over it.

I immediately woke up and got really embarrassed. Now it’s just funny.